Episode 20: Stop Fixing Yourself: Live From Your Strengths — The 80/20 Shift – Entrée

If 80% of your inner work goes toward fixing what’s wrong, no wonder you feel exhausted. In this episode of Relish, Alyssia Sheikh breaks down a powerful reframe: the 80/20 Shift—moving your energy away from “fixing mode” and toward living from your strengths.

Drawing from neuroscience, mindfulness, strengths research, and personal lived experience, Alyssia explores why so many growth-oriented people end up living in a loop of self-criticism (“awareness hell”), constantly hunting for problems instead of cultivating what’s already working. The issue isn’t a lack of awareness—it’s a lack of orientation.

You’ll learn how the brain’s negativity bias, predictive processing, and Reticular Activating System (RAS) filter your world toward what’s wrong… unless you intentionally redirect it. You’ll hear how your protective patterns aren’t flaws but compassionate survival strategies—and why shifting your focus from deficits to strengths can fundamentally change your lived experience.

Grounded in Gallup CliftonStrengths research, Alyssia explains how people who use their strengths daily report higher wellbeing, better engagement, and greater meaning. You’ll also hear an analogy from strengths expert and transformational leadership coach Corey Campbell, illustrating how focusing on “fixing the dips” keeps us from growing our natural peaks.

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why living in fixing mode keeps you looping in shame and stagnation
• How your Protector parts formed—and why they don’t need to be “eliminated”
• The neuroscience of why your brain fixates on problems
• What strengths-based research reveals about wellbeing and success
• How to flip your internal 80/20 to cultivate joy, meaning, and aliveness
• Daily practices: self-appreciation, positive language shifts, and focusing on what’s right

💭 Reflection:
Where are you already doing better than you give yourself credit for? What happens when you let your attention become sunlight for your strengths?

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• Email me: [email protected]
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• Book a Self-Trust Session with Alyssia

• The Hoffman Institute (Alyssia is a Hoffman Process teacher; podcast is not affiliated)

Links & Resources Mentioned:

Relevant episodes:

• Tools, Not Rules (Ep 12)
• Beyond Binary: Fixed vs Fluid Mode (Ep 5)
• Practicing Imperfectionism (Ep 13)
• When Expectation Steals Your Joy (Ep 19)

Corey Campbell, Leadership & Executive Coach & Speaker 

• https://www.akamaitraining.com/
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/corey-campbell-95b35323/ 

Science & Research

• CliftonStrengths Assessment (Gallup)
  https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/252137/home.aspx
• Gallup – Employees Who Use Their Strengths Outperform Those Who Don’t https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236561/employees-strengths-outperform-don.aspx
• Strengths strategy research summary (Harvard Medical School)
  https://learn.hms.harvard.edu/insights/all-insights/boosting-satisfaction-productivity-and-inspiration-strengths-strategy

• How to Overcome the Negativity Bias (Dr. Rick Hanson) https://rickhanson.com/topics-for-personal-growth/the-negativity-bias/ 
• Book: Discover Your Strengths
  (include the affiliate version)
• Negativity Bias Review (Baumeister et al.)
  https://assets.csom.umn.edu/assets/71516.pdf