Episode 19: When Expectation Steals Your Joy (and What to Do Instead) – Entrée

Have you ever reached a milestone—hit the number, landed the job, found the relationship—and wondered why it didn’t feel as good as you thought it would? That disappointment isn’t personal—it’s a symptom of expectation.

In this episode of Relish, Alyssia Sheikh explores how expectation — the belief that your happiness depends on a specific outcome — keeps you on the hamster wheel of proving and striving. Drawing from mindfulness and neuroscience, she reveals why our brains anticipate rewards more than they enjoy them, and how attachment to “how it should be” blocks the joy that’s already here.

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why expectation is a subtle form of attachment that creates suffering
• The neuroscience of reward anticipation — and why fulfillment fades so fast
• How to reframe rigid goals into aspirations rooted in intention and trust
• The embodied difference between gripping and allowing — contraction vs expansion
• How aspiration builds self-trust and meaning in the present, not someday

Through reflection and guided embodiment, Alyssia helps you feel the energetic shift from “I’ll be enough when…” to “I’m becoming more of who I already am.” You’ll leave with a journaling practice to transform expectations into aspirations—and rediscover joy in the process.

💭 Reflection: What expectations are you gripping that might be stealing your joy? Reframe each one into an aspiration. Notice how your body responds when you do.

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• The Hoffman Institute (Alyssia is a Hoffman Process teacher; podcast is not affiliated)

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Savage, L. M. (2008). Reward expectation alters learning and memory: The impact of Pavlovian-induced reward expectancies. → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2654273/  
• PMC
• Herrera, P. M., et al. (2019). Expectation of reward differentially modulates executive control. BMC Psychology. → https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-019-0332-x  
• BioMed Central
• Frömer, R., et al. (2021). Expectations of reward and efficacy guide cognitive control. → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7884731/   
• PMC
• Büchel, C., et al. (2023). The role of expectations, control and reward in pain and its relief. eLife, 12, e81795. → https://elifesciences.org/articles/81795