Episode 44: Rationalizing Emotions — When “Being Rational” Becomes a Way to Avoid Feeling – Quick Bite

Have you ever tried to make sense of what you’re feeling… because actually feeling it felt like too much?

That pattern has a name: rationalizing.

In this Relish Quick Bite, Alyssia Sheikh explores how rationalizing emotions—explaining them, justifying them, or making them “make sense”—can become a subtle way of avoiding feeling them in the body. This isn’t a character flaw. It’s a protective strategy, especially for thoughtful, intelligent, introspective people who were never taught how to feel their feelings safely.

Rationalizing can sound like:

• “It’s not that big of a deal.”
• “Others have it worse.”
• “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
• “It makes sense because of my childhood / job / trauma.”

While understanding can soothe the mind, it doesn’t metabolize emotion. Emotions are nervous-system events—they need contact and sensation to move through. When we stay in explanation mode, the body never gets the message that it’s safe to feel.

In this episode, Alyssia breaks down why the intellect often steps in to manage discomfort, how this can unintentionally invalidate our inner experience, and what it means to relate to feelings as sensations rather than stories.

✨ In this episode, you’ll explore:

• What rationalizing emotions actually is
• Why understanding doesn’t equal processing
• How intellect can override emotional awareness
• Why feelings don’t need to “make sense” to matter
• A gentle, embodied way to begin feeling without spiraling

💭 Reflection:
Where do you explain instead of feel—and what might happen if you stayed for just 10 seconds longer?

This episode is an invitation to be gentler with yourself, soften the grip of the intellect, and remember: your feelings matter.

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• The Hoffman Institute (Alyssia is a Hoffman Process teacher; podcast is not affiliated)

Relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 26 — Feel to Know: The Science of Emotions
• Episode 40 — The Power of Self-Talk: How Words Shape Your Brain
• Episode 36 — Shame (Part 2): Separation — Why Shame Feels Like Who You Are