Episode 40: The Power of Self-Talk — How Words Shape Your Brain (and Your Relationship - Entreé

→ Try the Rewire Your Self-Talk Meditation – Dessert!

What if the way you talk to yourself isn’t just “thoughts in the background”—but an ongoing relationship that’s shaping how safe you feel inside your own life?

In this Entrée episode of Relish, Alyssia Sheikh explores the power of words, and how your internal language can either reinforce shame—or quietly create space for relief. Most of us don’t notice our self-talk until we’re already in a spiral. But language matters because it trains what your brain focuses on, how your nervous system responds, and whether you collapse into self-judgment or stay present long enough to learn.

Alyssia breaks down why shame-based language narrows possibility (think: “I fell off the wagon,” “I’m broken,” “What’s wrong with me?”), and why simple word shifts can open flexibility and self-trust (“I’m learning,” “I disconnected,” “What’s happening right now?”). You’ll also hear a grounded take on the popular plant/water “word experiments”—why they’re compelling, why they’re controversial, and what we do know for certain about humans: harsh inner criticism activates threat, while kinder or more neutral language supports regulation and resilience. 

✨ In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why self-talk is a relationship, not neutral commentary
• How language cues your brain’s attention and salience systems 
• Why shame-based words create rigid, all-or-nothing thinking
• Practical language shifts that widen possibility without bypassing reality
• How mindfulness meditation trains a kinder inner tone (in real time) 
• A short embodied exercise to feel the difference between judgment vs compassion

🧘 Bonus: A companion Dessert meditation is available with this episode to help you practice softening your inner tone and relating to thoughts with more gentleness.

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s hard on themselves—and don’t forget to follow the show, download, and leave a review. Your support helps Relish reach more people.

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• The Hoffman Institute (Alyssia is a Hoffman Process teacher; podcast is not affiliated)

Relevant Episodes: 

• → Try the Rewire Your Self-Talk Meditation – Dessert!

• Episode 35 — Shame (Part 1): Recognition

• Episode 36 — Shame (Part 2): Separation

• Episode 37 — Shame (Part 3): Reclamation
• Quick Bite: Lost vs. Disconnected — Reframe to Reconnect

Relevant Links & Resources:

• NCBI Bookshelf (StatPearls): Neuroanatomy, Reticular Activating System (Brain filtering / attention & “RAS” overview) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK549835/

• Longe et al. (2010): Neural correlates of self-criticism and self-reassurance (PubMed) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19770047/

• Lebois et al. (2015): Decentering through mindful attention (PMC) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4631025/ 
• Ghosh et al. (2016) — Exposure to sound vibrations leads to transcriptomic, proteomic and hormone changes in Arabidopsis https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5036088/?  

• Radin et al. (2006) — Double-blind test of the effects of distant intention on water crystal formation  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16979104/